Saturday, September 8, 2012

I Am...

I used to dance for attention.  I have a gift for improvisational movement and for many years, I used it to attempt to get love from the outside through my dancing.  A man I used to be in a relationship with "shamed" me for this behavior, and it prompted me to stop dancing.  I was dancing to get approval and I stopped dancing to get this person's approval -- initially.  Though it was not good that another person's opinion dictated what I did or did not do, this particular incident caused me to really examine what I was doing, and why,  I consider it a Divine Intervention.  I stopped performing as a dancer for a few years, and it was for the best.  When I did dance in public again, I was not focused on dancing for the approval of others, and my dance was much more authentic, as a result..

The other day, I hear the "Second Lady" Jill Biden mention being a teacher is "who I am."  At first, I had a problem with that statement, because I am still in the process of examining the balance of "what I do" and "who I am."  Insight  from a very dear friend helped me see when the ego is entangled in the act of what we're doing, the act is inauthentic.  In other words, if you're doing something -- dancing, for example -- and after you do your dance, you're looking up to see how people are reacting to what you're doing, that is very different than dancing with no concern that you're even being noticed. 

So if Dr. Biden is teaching and not seeking approval for the fact that she's teaching, it means she is a teacher regardless.  If I'm dancing and I feel fulfillment from moving in a room by myself, then dance is truly part of My Being.  It does not depend on others to exist, or to be valid.  It simply IS.

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